This week has been….a week. That is the simplest way I can put that. It is currently 11 AM, so I want to try to zone into this and have the post written, prettied up and posted by 11:45.

I am very glad classes will be starting up again tomorrow. As much as my impatience to graduate stays sky high, I just want to get it done, so breaks kill me and all I can think about is getting back to classwork and just getting it done.

This week I feel was definitely nowhere near as productive as I was hoping, but that brings up the topic of mental health I suppose as a partner and remote based on top of that. I am very anxious for spring and summer to finally arrive, I need to be able to leave the house more. There is a strange world of isolation I live in and I can feel as winter continues it wears me down. My impatience to move out equally wears me down though as my own self-sabotage I suppose.

It is very strange explaining to people what I do, especially family. When I first started applying for jobs, I knew I wanted remote. Well more so I needed remote; no car, no sitter for my son, and at the time he was still nursing every hour. The responses I get are often strange or upsetting and also lead to the continual wear down:

This week has ended with a great internal battle to push myself forward against the storm around me and try to grow. That is probably a good reason why I am more of a dandelion rather than a rose- I will figure out how to grow in a crack in the cement with no water rather than shrivel up because the soil isn’t just right.

But this brings me to 11:13 and needing a quick pause as Todd is pulling at my leg for breakfast part 2. 11:18 and I’m back. Mom + ADD/ADHD and I am forever being pulled away from being able to spend more than a half hour on a task in one go, but I try and continue. 7-8 hours of work and I usually count it as 5-6 because I know a decent chunk of it includes me getting pulled away and having to regroup.

This week has been:

This week was Spring Break for me though. Granted the most break item I did was tone down work hours some because I still feel the burnout creeping around and getting my 17th tattoo. Another tattoo dedicated to my Dad, as we water the classic creature-features whenever I go over, so why not combine my Coffee/Tea love with a little bit of horror.

I also spent this week dealing with a lot of illness. Todd got sick around day 1, I was up all night dealing with that. Then I got it and after 12 hours of not being able to control the illness, I went to the doctor for anti-nausea meds to make it stop. Wednesday my friend had surgery, so I stayed over to help her because she is on bedrest for a week. Friday Todd got whatever we had….again. A lot of sleep lost this week… as a result I am fighting my temper, but know if I nap I won’t sleep tonight…so hello caffeine.

But at 11:31 I think I will wrap this up and try to meet that time goal. I am finding I HAVE to do that to get things done better…scatter brain struggles.